My Most Favorite, My Carter Girls

tumblr_lm7wgiZmG41qz4d4bo1_500 I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my friends. I have a lot of them. I don’t mean that in an obnoxious way at all. I kind of have a problem, actually. I get very invested and very attached quickly. I’m actually not good with strangers at all, but if I meet people at work or through an activity I pretty much assume we’re friends for life. Also, I’m hispanic, so pretty much anyone I meet more than twice is instantly family.

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely am not a perfect friend. I like too much ‘me time’ so that doesn’t make me available all too often. I am kind of a dork, so I’m not the friend to call if you want to have a crazy night on the town. However, I think all my friends know that I will be there for them in any way I possibly can….as long as it does not involve a club. I have my limitations.

I’m pretty sure I have OCD, and that translates to my relationships with my friends. I have them all compartmentalized. I have my school friends, I have sports friends, I have my University friends, my theatre school friends, my show friends, my family friends, my work friends, my other work friends, you get the idea. I don’t generally mix friends…much like you should not mix your liquors. I like them neatly in their place where I can keep track of them and tell them apart. It can get confusing sometimes.

I recently went to the wedding of one of my best friends, Melissa, from High School. She married the man of her dreams after having had some not so stellar relationships/experiences in the past. I could not have been happier for her. There are 7 of us from school that are still very close, and all of us were there to see our beautiful friend walk down the aisle to marry her best friend (well, WE’RE her best friends, obviously, but you know what I mean).

That whole evening I couldn’t stop smiling. I had sort of forgotten how amazing it felt to have us all together. We have separate lives now and we’re all pursuing our own dreams, so to have us all together is rare. I also got a little giddy and my friend Christina and I might have taken it a little too far at the photo booth, but that’s a whole other story.

The point it I was reminded of how lucky I am to have this group of women in my life. We are all so different that I’m sure people wonder how we can all be friends. I don’t know what it is, but our differences might be the thing that brings us together. We appreciate each other and our quirks.

I know I’ve been horrible at telling them how much I love and appreciate them these last few years so I thought this would be the best way to do it. In this post, showing this picture from the wedding, and embarrassing them. I love you, girls.

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(Ginny….I wish you were in this picture…love you too!)

I Miss You

yo mik y papá

17 years ago today I lost one of my favorite people in the world. My uncle, David. The life of the party. The flawed, funny, loud and loyal rock of our family. I’ve spent a good portion of today, like I do every October 2nd, thinking of him. I think of him every day, actually. Our whole family does. My cousin, his daughter, posted a picture of him today on Facebook and our family has had a nice time recalling old memories and expressing how much we miss him.

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As I started to write this post it somehow became a moment to moment recount of what happened to me, to us, when we found out he had died. I quickly deleted everything and realized that it wasn’t really a story I wanted to, or needed to tell. I simply wanted to honour him here, and have a little something to share with my family as we spend the day remembering him. I have no doubt that he watches over all of us and I think he would get a kick out of being written about on a blog. He would have loved it, in fact. He liked attention and he wouldn’t deny it if he was still here!

However, I will say this. Losing someone suddenly and tragically at a young age was one of the most informing moments of my life. I know that all of us, especially the ‘kids’ in our family, somehow changed after it happened. In some ways it made us irrationally afraid of certain things, it made us cynical about life, and it made us question everything. But, It also brought us all closer together. For me, it made me want to pursue my passions and desires more than ever. I know that’s what he would be doing if he was still here, and I know it’s what he would want for all of us. Tio, this is for you.

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Los quiero muchooooooo!

Eduardo Fernandez – That Vintage Smile

My grandfather, Eduardo Fernandez, in 1947. He was in the Peruvian Air Force and eventually a Colonel. 

I love old photographs. It makes me feel like I’m spying on the past and at the same time connecting to it. I especially love old photographs of my family. I love looking at them and imagining what their lives were like, what their dreams were, what they were thinking! I think old photographs are so much more genuine that what we have today. They really captured a moment in time and no one could say, ‘I looked weird in that one, let’s take it again’. Some of those weird looks are my favorite! Even the photos where families posed in a studio are so mysterious. I love it.

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Beautiful Tree

I was in Lima recently for two weeks. I spent a glorious time with my family and as usual took some great shots and footage. Here is a glimpse of the good times. It’s a wonderful reminder that I’m a lucky girl and have some incredible people looking out for me and sending me good karma and love everyday.

“Bent or broken,
It’s the family tree.
Bent or broken,
It’s the family tree.
Each branch a part of a part of me.
This is my tree,
And it’s a beautiful tree.”

New Year Resolutions: Putting It Out Into The Universe

Video

I’ve been thinking a lot about the new year. Actually, to be honest, I’ve been thinking a lot about the past year, 2011, and how it didn’t quite turn out the way I had planned. I want to change all that in 2012.

I am an actor. I wanted to be an actor to change the world (as cheesy as that sounds, but I did). Unfortunately, sometimes in our profession actors spend their lives waiting around for someone to give them the “opportunity” to change the world…or be given “permission”. We wait for people like casting directors, producers and directors to “allow” us to change the world through our work. I want to change that for myself.

So, I decided my New Year Resolution this year is to allow myself to change the world. I’m going to try to not wait around and just start doing the things I want to do…the way I want to do them. I also decided to be brave and bold in my choices.

This video is a compilation of resolutions from my friends, family and DAVIDsTEA family. My hope is that this video makes us all accountable for each other and encourages us to help each other follow through with our resolutions.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!